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Scene: Somewhere in a playing hall in the middle of nowhere:
Two gals and two guys are playing in a tournament. They start making eyes at one another and moving quickly. One of them gets up and leaves the playing hall, the others follow. In the lounge they chat for awhile until someone reminds them they haven’t finished their games. Back in they rush. The positions they left on the boards are unchanged, but the clocks and score sheets are gone and they all forget whose move it is. The two gals’ position is as follows: White Kd5, pawn e4; Black Kf4, pawn e5. Both girls refuse to make a move because of the reciprocal zugzwang. Each claims a win if the other moves first. The guys’ position is as follows: White Kc6, pawn e4; Black Kg3, pawn e5. Both want to move first because of the mutual zugzwin. Each claims a win with the move. Unable to come to any agreement or consensus on how to resolve the situation, eventually one of their hands goes up and a voice cries out: Arbiter! Arbiter!
Meanwhile, a passing mathematician named Nelham Clovnag who is on his way to a conference on static equations, and who knows nothing of the game of chess except that a player can score 0 or .5 or 1, quickly surmises that there are 91 possible decisions that the arbiter could render if the arbiter could render a decision. But the arbiter cannot render a decision because it’s a reciprocal zugzwang/zwin case and the players evoke the ‘Whoever Clause’ which renders the move indeterminate.
The lights go out. A ruckus occurs in the back of the playing hall. 64 cell phones flip open to cast light on the situation. A blindfolded player who has acquired the move of a knight starts jumping from table to table. He is pursued by the arbiter on a pogo stick jumping like the elephant bishop of old. He does not jump that high however because he is weighted down with a tome on the laws of chess. The cell phones begin to wave and people start chanting, “Fight, fight, fight, fight,” but the knight bishop pair only zigzag around enough to spell out the word “Entropy.” This lulls everyone. There follows a moment of silence when everything is as still as a dummy pawn.
Finally a lone voice is heard from the edge of the hall and the sound of a fist striking the floor, “Damn you Zugot. You’ve finally went and done it. You’ve eliminated the move. You’ve stalemated everything.”
Two gals and two guys are playing in a tournament. They start making eyes at one another and moving quickly. One of them gets up and leaves the playing hall, the others follow. In the lounge they chat for awhile until someone reminds them they haven’t finished their games. Back in they rush. The positions they left on the boards are unchanged, but the clocks and score sheets are gone and they all forget whose move it is. The two gals’ position is as follows: White Kd5, pawn e4; Black Kf4, pawn e5. Both girls refuse to make a move because of the reciprocal zugzwang. Each claims a win if the other moves first. The guys’ position is as follows: White Kc6, pawn e4; Black Kg3, pawn e5. Both want to move first because of the mutual zugzwin. Each claims a win with the move. Unable to come to any agreement or consensus on how to resolve the situation, eventually one of their hands goes up and a voice cries out: Arbiter! Arbiter!
Meanwhile, a passing mathematician named Nelham Clovnag who is on his way to a conference on static equations, and who knows nothing of the game of chess except that a player can score 0 or .5 or 1, quickly surmises that there are 91 possible decisions that the arbiter could render if the arbiter could render a decision. But the arbiter cannot render a decision because it’s a reciprocal zugzwang/zwin case and the players evoke the ‘Whoever Clause’ which renders the move indeterminate.
The lights go out. A ruckus occurs in the back of the playing hall. 64 cell phones flip open to cast light on the situation. A blindfolded player who has acquired the move of a knight starts jumping from table to table. He is pursued by the arbiter on a pogo stick jumping like the elephant bishop of old. He does not jump that high however because he is weighted down with a tome on the laws of chess. The cell phones begin to wave and people start chanting, “Fight, fight, fight, fight,” but the knight bishop pair only zigzag around enough to spell out the word “Entropy.” This lulls everyone. There follows a moment of silence when everything is as still as a dummy pawn.
Finally a lone voice is heard from the edge of the hall and the sound of a fist striking the floor, “Damn you Zugot. You’ve finally went and done it. You’ve eliminated the move. You’ve stalemated everything.”