New Chess Title Category

[Paul Bonham]

The CFC, in conjunction with the Trudeau government, has for 2017 decided to create a new category of official title in Canadian chess:

LTAEMGM (Left-Handed Transgender Albino Eskimo Midget GrandMaster):

- qualifying rating of 1200 in games versus other left-handed transgender albino Eskimo midgets
- must own 20 genuine seal pup pelts (the CFC have opted for leniency on this: how the pelts were obtained does not need documentation if all other requirements met)
- must be under 4 feet tall and 21 years of age or older
- genetic test results from a federal Albino Eskimo Certification Lab facility must confirm albino Eskimo ancestory
- documentation of sex change operation from a federal Albino Eskimo Midget Sex Change medical facility
- passing of special federal Transgender Albino Eskimo Midget Reflex Tests to prove transgender albino Eskimo midget left-handedness

The announcement of this new category by CFC President Vlad "Fox News" Drkulec caught everyone in the chess community by surprise. There were instant reactions from instant reactionaries:

"Left-handed transgender albino Eskimo midgets worldwide should protest against the insult of being singled out in this manner! But at least they haven't separated out the women -- if they do, they'll have me to deal with!" - Brad Thomson

"This isn't the best way to advance the personal chess of left-handed transgender albino Eskimo midgets." - Bob Armstrong

"I haven't yet finished my typographic calligraphy ebonics video for the artist formerly known as Lefty in the transgender albino Eskimo midget community... damn, I should have been prepared for this! The fake news said this wouldn't happen!" - Neil Frarey


The news even caught Americans off guard. There were reports of minor skirmishes in the streets of Tucson, Arizona between members of the local LTAEM Lives Matter community and illegal Mexican immigrants. On hearing of this, Donald Trump announced that he will ban "all Muslim left-handed transgender albino Eskimo midgets from entering the country until we can figure out, with CNN's help, just what the hell is going on!"

[Vlad Drkulec]

Re: New Chess Title Category

I find this post offensive, racist, homophobic and typical of the fake news of left wing websites which Paul Bonham is addicted to. Like most Paul Bonham posts it makes me reconsider my recent decision to remove him (and everyone else) from my ignore list. No one ever missed anything of importance by ignoring Paul Bonham.

[Kerry Liles]

Re: New Chess Title Category

I find this post offensive, racist, homophobic and typical of the fake news of left wing websites which Paul Bonham is addicted to. Like most Paul Bonham posts it makes me reconsider my recent decision to remove him (and everyone else) from my ignore list. No one ever missed anything of importance by ignoring Paul Bonham.

I presumed (perhaps incorrectly) that the post was intended to be satirical...
It does go on and on a bit too much and the presumption that it will be funny is way over estimated in my view.
I don't know what time zone Paul Bonham is in but his posts often are in the early morning hours much like the Trump...
I *hope* he is well west of Toronto so that his posts are actually more in the late evening but I have no idea.
Moving on...

[Vlad Drkulec]

Re: New Chess Title Category

I presumed (perhaps incorrectly) that the post was intended to be satirical...

It was intended to be something. Most reasonable people can agree that it was an epic fail. Paul is simply that guy that tells off colour jokes in the most embarrassing manner possible and instantly causes everyone to regret that he was invited to the party. Of course, it is what we have come to expect from Paul who has been known to pontificate on the brain damaging effects of diabetes so his classless insensitivity to minorities is typical of the racism of left wing elites as revealed in the Podesta emails which showed religious and racial bigotry and a totally absent conception of the requirement of fair play in the Democratic party.

Allowing the posting of terms like "midget" could certainly open Mr. Bonham and the proprietors of this website to charges under the Ontario Human Rights act.

https://themighty.com/2016/04/why-mi...with-dwarfism/

It does go on and on a bit too much and the presumption that it will be funny is way over estimated in my view.
I don't know what time zone Paul Bonham is in but his posts often are in the early morning hours much like the Trump...
I *hope* he is well west of Toronto so that his posts are actually more in the late evening but I have no idea.
Moving on...

Bonham lives on the left coast where people still haven't got the memo about the norms of acceptable human discourse.

[John Coleman]

Re: New Chess Title Category

As usual, Paul Bonham uses multiple paragraphs where a sentence would suffice. In this case, a sentence would be too much.

[Neil Frarey]

Re: New Chess Title Category

Hey Paul, I don't mind if you take shots at me. You're not the first and you won't be the last.

But please apologize for your racial and insulting comments to all others.

Thanks.

[Nikolay Noritsyn]

Re: New Chess Title Category

I didn't find the first post funny, probably something crucial is missing from the satire, and its too long indeed..but I also don't find how it is offensive, perhaps the insults are camouflaged too well.
Lets see some of these though:

"..and typical of the fake news of left wing websites which Paul Bonham is addicted to" - a shot at left wing websites
"Like most Paul Bonham posts it makes me reconsider my recent decision to remove him.." , "No one ever missed anything of importance by ignoring Paul Bonham." "Paul is simply that guy that tells off colour jokes in the most embarrassing manner possible and instantly causes everyone to regret that he was invited to the party."- personal insults with no evidence provided (the last one is an attempt at being funny too)
"..typical of the racism of left wing elites as revealed in the Podesta emails.." As if Podesta is the only left wing person out there, chosen to represent them all
"Bonham lives on the left coast where people still haven't got the memo about the norms of acceptable human discourse." Is that another joke, or I am missing some sacred knowledge about left coast people?

[Neil Frarey]

Re: New Chess Title Category

I didn't find the first post funny, probably something crucial is missing from the satire, and its too long indeed..but I also don't find how it is offensive, perhaps the insults are camouflaged too well.

I'll start here and no the insults are not camouflaged at all...

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=is+the+word+%22...%22+derogatory

...welcome to the human race.

[John Coleman]

Re: New Chess Title Category

Educate me, what is meant by "the left coast"? I believe Paul Bonham once lived in New England somewhere. I guess that's "left" if you are looking south. Or have I missed something, as usual.

[Hugh Brodie]

Re: New Chess Title Category

How about discussing the title of this thread seriously - "New Chess Title Category"?

I would propose a new FIDE title - something like "Candidate Grandmaster". This is the way it would work: Every month when FIDE issues a new rating list, the top 100 players (or any other arbitrary number) would receive the title of "Grandmaster". All others who have earned the GM title the usual ways would become CGM's. But a GM could lose his title - dropping to the CGM class. There could be an inactivity clause - maybe two years - a GM would retain his title, but would not show up on the top 100 list (making the list theoretically more than 100 GM's). Thus there could be GM-only events - attracting stronger players - but players would risk a bad result, possibly dropping them out of the top 100. The gradual inflation of the rating system would ensure that a players trying to sit on his #100 ranking would be passed by up-and-comers.

Comments?

[Nikolay Noritsyn]

Re: New Chess Title Category

I'll start here and no the insults are not camouflaged at all...

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=is+the+word+%22...%22+derogatory

...welcome to the human race.

Hi Neil,

Thanks for welcoming me. Did Paul call you or anyone else a midget? If so, I am sorry, I must have misread his post.

[Kevin Pacey]

Re: New Chess Title Category

Educate me, what is meant by "the left coast"? I believe Paul Bonham once lived in New England somewhere. I guess that's "left" if you are looking south. Or have I missed something, as usual.

I'm not sure, but I vaguely recall that Paul lived somewhere in the mid-west, at least at some time in the past. Anyway, when I think of the left coast, personally I think of the western (or left, on a map) coast of the US continental 48 states, and of Canada too, both of which are generally thought to be politically left-leaning, afaik. Here's a link discussing the idea of a left coast in the US (exclusively):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left_coast

[Kevin Pacey]

Re: New Chess Title Category

How about discussing the title of this thread seriously - "New Chess Title Category"?

I would propose a new FIDE title - something like "Candidate Grandmaster". This is the way it would work: Every month when FIDE issues a new rating list, the top 100 players (or any other arbitrary number) would receive the title of "Grandmaster". All others who have earned the GM title the usual ways would become CGM's. But a GM could lose his title - dropping to the CGM class. There could be an inactivity clause - maybe two years - a GM would retain his title, but would not show up on the top 100 list (making the list theoretically more than 100 GM's). Thus there could be GM-only events - attracting stronger players - but players would risk a bad result, possibly dropping them out of the top 100. The gradual inflation of the rating system would ensure that a players trying to sit on his #100 ranking would be passed by up-and-comers.

Comments?

I'd think a 'National' GM title for Canadian players (if there isn't one already) should have a minimum CFC rating requirement, say 2500+ CFC regular rating. Is there a 'National' Senior Master title (say minimum 2400+ CFC regular rating)? I can't recall if one has been created, either, but the title receipient's rating might have to be maintained for 24+ CFC rated regular time control games in either case before receiving such a title, as well. There are certainly National Master titles (besides class player titles):

http://chess.ca/titleholders

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_title#United_States

[Neil Frarey]

Re: New Chess Title Category

Hi Neil,

Thanks for welcoming me.

No probs! Anytime I can pull someone out of the gutter ... I'm glad to help!

Here's another one for your confrontational perspective:

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=is+the+word+%22...%22+derogatory

...have a nice day.

[Paul Bonham]

Re: New Chess Title Category

I find this post offensive, racist, homophobic and typical of the fake news of left wing websites which Paul Bonham is addicted to. Like most Paul Bonham posts it makes me reconsider my recent decision to remove him (and everyone else) from my ignore list. No one ever missed anything of importance by ignoring Paul Bonham.

It was intended to be something. Most reasonable people can agree that it was an epic fail. Paul is simply that guy that tells off colour jokes in the most embarrassing manner possible and instantly causes everyone to regret that he was invited to the party. Of course, it is what we have come to expect from Paul who has been known to pontificate on the brain damaging effects of diabetes so his classless insensitivity to minorities is typical of the racism of left wing elites as revealed in the Podesta emails which showed religious and racial bigotry and a totally absent conception of the requirement of fair play in the Democratic party.

Wow, I nailed it! I predicted exactly this reaction from exactly this person. For the discerning reader, this reaction says more about Vlad Drkulec than I ever could.

"...offensive, racist, homophobic..." -- Vlad doesn't even know the definitions of these terms!

To be racist, there must have been something derogatory said about either albinos or Eskimos. Where? Where is there anything derogatory said about albinos or Eskimos?

(Note: if you think the reference of seal pup pelts is derogatory towards Eskimos, you didn't get it. The piece doesn't say that Eskimos collect seal pup pelts, it says that the CFC would expect Eskimos -- specifically, left-handed transgender albino midget Eskimos -- to collect seal pup pelts. I won't apologize for people that can't read and understand English.)

To be homophobic, something derogatory must have been said about transgenders. Where? Where was anything derogatory said about transgenders?

Vlad Drkulec is an astonishingly narrow-minded, biased, non-critical-thinking person. I'm glad he provided such ample evidence of that right here, in plain sight, where after labelling me with so many ridiculuous terms, he shows himself to be the epitome of what he is criticizing:

Bonham lives on the left coast where people still haven't got the memo about the norms of acceptable human discourse.

Thank you, Vlad, for offending everyone on the U.S. west coast.... and for that matter, British Columbia as well which tends to vote left of center (or at least it did for many years). And your comment on another thread about CNN versus FOX News is offensive to the professionalism of all CNN employees and to the judgment of everyone who watches CNN.

Vlad, you're living in a glass house, you shouldn't be throwing stones.

Allowing the posting of terms like "midget" could certainly open Mr. Bonham and the proprietors of this website to charges under the Ontario Human Rights act.

https://themighty.com/2016/04/why-mi...with-dwarfism/

What a pathetic attempt at scaremongering. Charges!!!! hahahaha! Well, if Larry Bevand wants to believe that and cut this thread, he's welcome to do so but again, it would say more about him than about me.

If midgets are super-sensitive to the term midget... I don't really care. The word means "unusually small person" so it is fine to use it. I don't bother myself with what every group in society thinks they should or should not be called. Whereas the N-word for blacks is known for being purely pejorative, the word midget isn't that, it actually means what it refers to. I would say to midgets to get a life, and the other thing I would say is that I'm not using the word with INTENT to demean or insult. If they can't live with that, tough beans. Some midgets actually say the word "dwarf" sounds more insulting to them than "midget". Whatever.

I see Niel Frarey has joined you, Vlad. Isn't that interesting? The two ChessTalkers most ingratiated with Trump as President -- that's right, Trump, a fragile sensitive man who thinks its ok to sexually assault women, who disses a gold star family, who mocks a person with a disability, who discriminates against blacks.

Neil Frarey, you have lost your right to criticize anyone on these grounds. By being in favor of Trump as President, you are approving his past and continuing behavior as acceptable, which means to you it is acceptable for anyone. You call him a "great individual". This is what you haven't realized about your support for Trump: it makes you as much a racist and bigot and misogynist as he is.

I'll bet both Neil and Vlad have seen the movie Life of Brian by Monty Python and thought it was very funny.... even though it is totally insulting and demeaning to Jews and Arabs.... and possibly a lot more people. Personally, I also think they did a great job. And I'll bet a lot of Jews and Arabs would agree. Likewise their movie "The Meaning of Life" where Catholics are portrayed in a critical way. I'm sure a lot of Catholics have watched it and laughed heartily.

However there are no insults at any specific group in my piece. In fact, Vlad Drkulec and Neil Frarey were two of the main targets of the satire, and so their reactions tell me I hit a sensitive nerve. Poor little fragile egos.....