How to Dress a Game of Chess

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  • How to Dress a Game of Chess

    Many games of chess are so poorly dressed their owners refuse to be seen with them in public. One of the worst faults is overdressing, the putting on of additional moves. Whether lack of knowledge or lack of patience is to blame, these overdressed games present a bad appearance and embarrass their owners. If you personally are unsure of how to dress a game of chess, it is wise to remember that simplicity and neatness are standards that never change.

    Consider the following marred game played in an open tournament some years ago; the names of the players are respectfully withheld:

    1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bc4 Nf6 4.d4 Bd6 5.dxe5 Nxe5 6.Nxe5 Bxe5 7.f4 Nxe4 8.Qd5 0–0 9.fxe5 Qh4+ 10.g3 Nxg3 11.hxg3 Qxg3+ 12.Kd2 Qf2+ 13.Kc3 c6 14.Qe4 g6 15.Be3 Qg3 16.Nd2 d5 17.exd6 Bf5 18.Qxf5 Qxe3+ 19.Qd3 Qe5+ 20.Qd4 Qg5 21.Rag1 Qf5 22.Rxh7 Kxh7 23.Rh1+ Qh5 24.Rxh5+ gxh5 25.Qf6 b5 26.Bd3+ Kg8 27.Qg5+ Kh8 28.Qh6+ 1–0

    Here White exploits an opening error. Black counter attacks and White wanders his King. White attempts a Queen sac, but Black takes a Bishop instead. Next White tries to force the Black Queen off guard to play a combo. Finally, White sacs his Rook on h7 to shortly finish the game. All in all, several moves were wasted and the game looks slovenly.

    Now let’s take the aforementioned features and work them into a more presentable package, stripping away the useless moves. The trick is not to totally alter the game, but to clean and sharpen it, so that the best shines forth. The best dressed games of chess look effortless and elegant.

    This should only take a minute – a little snip here – and a tuck there – and voila!

    1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bc4 Nf6 4.d4 Bd6 5.dxe5 Nxe5 6.Nxe5 Bxe5 7.f4 Nxe4 8.Qd5 Qh4+ 9.g3 Nxg3 10.hxg3 Qxg3+ 11.Kf1 Bf6 12.Rxh7 Rf8 13.Nc3 Bxc3 14.bxc3 Qxc3 15.Bb2 Qxb2 16.Qxf7+ Rxf7 17.Re1+ Re7 18.Rh8#

    Please note that all the opening moves and several key features of the game are retained. Black launches his counter attack a move early. The White King does a one step instead of a two step. Rxh7 is played as soon as possible. Black clips a bishop in passing and White gets his Queen sac in. And the game ends in mate so there are no loose threads hanging. This game is now smartly dressed and ready for a public appearance.

    If you have slovenly or overdressed chess game you are too embarrassed to show, send them to The Chess Taylor for professional cleaning and alterations. For just fifty dollars we will turn even the most ill-fitted games into brilliancies. Choose your style: Romantic, Classical, or Hypermodern. Just think, you will be able to take those old games out of the box and wear them again. Impress your family, friends, and fellow players with your new chess look. Simple makeovers include elimination of useless moves and repetitions. 40 move games cleaned to 25: Twenty dollars. For just $29.99, do it yourselfers will love our ‘Clean Your Own Game Kit’. It comes with dozens of chess dressing tips, examples of made over games, and a copy of famed chess taylor Johnny Sharpe’s award winning essay “How to look good in descriptive notation.” Remember The Chess Taylor, your one name in chess alterations.
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