chess joke

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  • chess joke

    joke.jpg I found this to be hilarious so thought I would share.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Hans Jung View Post
    joke.jpg I found this to be hilarious so thought I would share.


    • #3
      I've got one:

      Q: What did the chess-playing pharmacologist call his new opening?
      A: The Moderna Defence!


      • #4
        I was sure the joke was going to be the old "chess nuts boasting in an open foyer" one. :-)


        • #5
          OK you go!!

          Chess Stories for the Holiday Season!
          (Chess Nuts Roasting on an open fire!)

          # 1.

          A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ‘But why?’ they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer"


          # 2.

          A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday present.So one day, he went into a pet store looking for a parrot.The salesperson showed the man to a very beautiful parrot. "This is the only parrot we have, and his name is, Chet."

          "He's beautiful!" cried the man, "Does he do any tricks?"

          "Yes he does," answered the salesman. "If you put a lighted match under his right foot, Chet will sing 'Jingle Bells.' And if you put a lighted match under Chet's left foot, he will sing 'Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.'"

          "Amazing!" exclaimed the man, and he bought the parrot immediately.That night, the man showed his wife the parrot that he'd bought, and said, "This is Chet."

          "Oh, what a gorgeous bird! Does he know any tricks?" asked the wife. The man smiled and said, "Watch this."

          Then he lit a match and put it under Chet's right foot. Sure enough, the parrot began to sing, 'Jingle Bells. 'Then he put the match under Chet's left foot, and he began to sing 'Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.'

          "That's incredible! Does he do anything else?" the wife asked.

          "I don't know, lets see," replied the man. So he lit another match and put it between the bird's legs. The parrot started singing, "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire."


          # 3.
          SAD History Lesson

          Back in the early 1400's, chess became super popular in a European community. There was a certain group of people in particular who were especially enthusiastic about the game. They would meet up to play chess with each other at every opportunity.
          Eventually, this obsession with playing chess caught the attention of thechurch leaders who noticed that members of this group were skipping church to play chess instead.
          This was seen as blasphemous,and they were ordered to stop immediately.
          Unfortunately, the draw of the game proved too strong for these chess aficionados and after continuing to defy the church, they were arrested and tried for heresy.
          They were found guilty and sentenced to be burned at the stake. This public execution, held in the town square, became the very first record of chess nuts roasting on an open fire.
          Life can be SO hard for chess players!


          Bob A