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I have just received a book entitled “My 60 Memorable Columns” (1995) by the Australian Chris Depasquale. His chess writing has a humorous slant as is promised by these topics on the back cover:
“Is there a cure for sleeping sickness?
What is the atmospheric substance the government is silent about?
Has political correctness gone too far?
Why do hairdressers charge so much?
Is plagiarism tax deductible?
Are there errors in the Bible?
How was Carlos the Jackal really captured?
Is there an after-life?
These and many other important questions affecting our daily lives are answered in this book.”
Well, I read column 45 “Ghosts” to find out about the afterlife:
There are moments in everybody’s life when they get to thinking about the afterlife. What will it be like? What happens there? And is there any way to find out before that fateful moment comes?
When Mikhail Botvinnik, the world chess champion for the best part of fifteen years from 1948, passed away last month, an acquaintance of mine, Gerald, became quite melancholy and morbid in his thoughts. “Do you think they have chess in Heaven?” he asked me at one point. I assured him that it must be so. “And do you think they would let hackers like us have games with the great masters of the past, like Morphy, Steinitz, Lasker, Capablanca and Botvinnik?” I didn’t see why not, and told him so.
Gerald remained unconvinced, at which point I hit upon a brainstorm. Just around the corner from the chess club is a licensed spiritualist; if he wouldn’t take my word for it, surely he would accept hers. He was reluctant at first but when I promised to foot the bill he finally acquiesced.
“Yes”, she replied to the first question, “there is chess in Heaven.” And then, without our even asking (had she read our thoughts?) she went on, “Yes, players from all different eras and of different playing strengths all play together.” My friend’s questions having been answered satisfactorily, we rose to leave.
“Wait”, the medium commanded, “a game has just finished. Morphy and Botvinnik just agreed a draw” And with that she went into a trance, and started to recite the moves, which I jotted down. (snip)
My friend, having forgotten all his morbid thoughts, was genuinely excited and wanted to race back to the club and play through the Morphy – Botvinnik game.
As he turned to leave, the voice of our host again brought us to a stand-still.
“They have just put up the pairings for Monday’s games”, she said. I inquired whether there were any of particular interest. “Your friend there will be interested in this one”, she said after a while, “he has Black against Steinitz.”
“Is there a cure for sleeping sickness?
What is the atmospheric substance the government is silent about?
Has political correctness gone too far?
Why do hairdressers charge so much?
Is plagiarism tax deductible?
Are there errors in the Bible?
How was Carlos the Jackal really captured?
Is there an after-life?
These and many other important questions affecting our daily lives are answered in this book.”
Well, I read column 45 “Ghosts” to find out about the afterlife:
There are moments in everybody’s life when they get to thinking about the afterlife. What will it be like? What happens there? And is there any way to find out before that fateful moment comes?
When Mikhail Botvinnik, the world chess champion for the best part of fifteen years from 1948, passed away last month, an acquaintance of mine, Gerald, became quite melancholy and morbid in his thoughts. “Do you think they have chess in Heaven?” he asked me at one point. I assured him that it must be so. “And do you think they would let hackers like us have games with the great masters of the past, like Morphy, Steinitz, Lasker, Capablanca and Botvinnik?” I didn’t see why not, and told him so.
Gerald remained unconvinced, at which point I hit upon a brainstorm. Just around the corner from the chess club is a licensed spiritualist; if he wouldn’t take my word for it, surely he would accept hers. He was reluctant at first but when I promised to foot the bill he finally acquiesced.
“Yes”, she replied to the first question, “there is chess in Heaven.” And then, without our even asking (had she read our thoughts?) she went on, “Yes, players from all different eras and of different playing strengths all play together.” My friend’s questions having been answered satisfactorily, we rose to leave.
“Wait”, the medium commanded, “a game has just finished. Morphy and Botvinnik just agreed a draw” And with that she went into a trance, and started to recite the moves, which I jotted down. (snip)
My friend, having forgotten all his morbid thoughts, was genuinely excited and wanted to race back to the club and play through the Morphy – Botvinnik game.
As he turned to leave, the voice of our host again brought us to a stand-still.
“They have just put up the pairings for Monday’s games”, she said. I inquired whether there were any of particular interest. “Your friend there will be interested in this one”, she said after a while, “he has Black against Steinitz.”
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